Tuesday, February 14, 2012

here's to the hopeful romantics

Photo Credit
Ah yes, Valentine's Day. That's today, huh? Holy cow, how in the world did that happen.

The day really managed to sneak up on me this year. And I'm not just saying that... I mean Jason and I were in the grocery store on Sunday planning our meals for the week and we decided upon chicken burgers for Tuesday night. Ya know, just plain ol' Tuesday night. It took me almost until checkout as I passed the Great Wall of Chocolate for me to remember what "Tuesday night" was. We laughed.

And while I'm pretty sure that, given the timeframe, tomorrow won't be filled with any elaborate plans or high expectations, I do know it will most certainly be filled with love.

When I realized I'd forgotten all about Valentine's Day (and the fact that I was perfectly okay with that) I got a bit sad. I started thinking to myself, Oh who needs Valentine's Day anyway. It's just some fabricated holiday created by Hallmark anyway... AHHHHHH!! Who is that person thinking that? Certainly not me. I had to stop myself. I sounded like... like... like a GUY. And then I thankfully returned myself back to my authentic state of mind, someone that believes whole-heartedly in the purpose of Valentine's Day. And you know why?

Because this world would be a better place if we all just took a little more time to love.

You see, I love love. It's in my DNA. Growing up we didn't have a ton, but boy did we have a whole lot of love. My parents taught me that when you feel it, you show it. I'm not even sure how to put it into words except to say that my heart feels so full sometimes that I just have to pour it out. I find myself having these sporadic moments where I NEED to text a friend and tell them I love them, or remind my brother before he hangs up the phone that I love that he's my brother, or to lean over to Jason sitting on the couch to kiss his broad shoulder next to me and tell him I love him more than Ryan Gosling. (Yeah, that much.) Because love feels good, and makes others feel good, and for pete's sake what could ever be wrong with that?

And I know it drives Jason crazy sometimes. For a man that's so rational and grounded to be stuck with such a sap for a girlfriend. If it weren't for him, my idealism might just literally carry me away. Luckily, he brings me back down to earth, and I like to believe I destroy his pragmatism with little sprinkles of sunshine. When it comes to love though, I know it seems a little silly to hold on to the ideal - I know that the majority of people are skeptics. And believe me, my practical side (yes, I have one!) fights to be heard all the time. But being practical is just simply no fun. Pretending not to care about a whole day dedicated to love is simply no fun.

Which is why I'll be celebrating today. It won't be with grand gestures or carefully planned out surprises, though. I'll spend the day mindful of the people I love - my family, my friends, my amazing better half - and I won't hesitate for a second to pour out my heart and tell them why I love them. Because they deserve to hear it. And I think that's what Valentine's Day is all about - one day to remind us of what we should be doing each and every day.

So spread the love. And have a Happy Valentine's Day.

(And for the record, this song is what love sounds like to me. Simple happiness.)

Monday, February 13, 2012

do you have a couplemate?

To everyone reading this that's in a relationship (or has ever been in one), I'm curious: do you know what I'm talking about when I say the term "couplemate?" It's like a soulmate but it's two people rather than one. It's a couple that you kind of feel like is freakishly similar to you and your significant other to the point where you feel you were somehow fated to meet?

Okay, there I go being all hippy and cosmic-y again, but nevertheless Jas and I have now found our couplemate and that's who we've been hanging out with the past two weeks. (I've decided to fabricate their names, less to preserve their identities and more in order to fantasize that my blog is big enough to warrant the concealment of identities. So I'll be referring to them as Sebastian and Britannica for my own amusement. Play along, won't you?)

Sebastian and Britannica journeyed down from the blustery tundra to hang out with us in sunny Florida for a while. They were only supposed to be staying with us for about a week, but we were just having such a darn good time with them that we asked them to stay for two. Now, I have to be honest with you guys, I get antsy when people stay with us for more than two days. I can't help it, I feel like I have to entertain and be "on" 24/7 and well it just screws up my whole routine so I'm a big grouch. Not with ol' 'Bastian and 'Tannic though... those two gems made it a breeze. (Okay, so keeping up the top secret thing was harder than I thought. Their real names are Sean and Brittany. Less exotic but certainly easier to spell. ps. Sorry if you guys didn't want to be in my blog, you're going to be SO FAMOUS NOW *end delusion*.) Anyway, it was the weirdest thing, from the second they got here it was like the four of us had been friends for years. Jason and Sean are frighteningly similar - goofy, energetic, lacking appropriate humor - and Brittany and I have a ton in common too - she's low maintenance, fun-loving and takes aforementioned inappropriate humor in stride, as I do with Jason.

For two weeks straight we did everything together - we filmed videos for IWearYourShirt, watched the Super Bowl, cooked amazingly delicious meals (that would be all Brittany, I took notes), we worked out, went to a few movies, drank beer and played Trivial Pursuit (fine, it's geeky, but so fun!) It was crazy how easily they just fit into our lives here and it made me realize something. Before them, we really didn't have a great couple of mutual friends.

When you start a relationship, at least the way Jason and I did, you come from two separate worlds. You have your friends and he has his friends, and over time you try to integrate each other into each circle. But the problem is that each of those groups knows you individually without your significant other. Sure, over time they come to see you as a part of a duo, but they always think of you first as the person you were without your significant other, and honestly I think sometimes you can be judged against that person you once were. But with friend couples that you meet when you're already together, it's a different kind of bond. You don't feel guilty for being "too couply" or being open about your quirks, your fights, your entire relationship dynamic because the other two can totally relate. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, but it was a feeling I hadn't experienced before and it was really nice. To find another couple that goofs off like you do, that argues like you do, that communicates like you do and laughs like you do is really rare. One of the best feelings in the world is one of genuine human connection and finding friends that you can relate to as a couple I think is important to the growth of your relationship, just like finding girlfriends you can relate to is important for your own personal growth.

To anyone out there reading, is this sounding crazy to you? Do you know what feeling I mean when you find another couple just like you, and do you even think that's important?

Heading to Vancouver next Saturday but hopefully I'll have more theories of the universe, craftiness and life updating headed your way soon. You never know what this noggin is gonna cook up next. Thanks for reading.